frithembleer's blog

a bomb diggity place for respite from the darkside. the fishburger thing is so 04-05.

Friday, March 11, 2005

"Throwing Bricks" (or "The story of the great Becoming.")

"Throwing Bricks"

by frithembleer


Players:

frithembleer - Bomb Diggity Scourge
The gods - dieties
Refs - officials
Duke, Arizona - elite wannabes
Dean Smith - evil incarnate
Chorus

ACT I:
Spring, 1993

frithembleer: Oh, Kansas! Brave New World, the spectacle of the NCAA tourney.

The gods: Tradition! Validate North Carolina's elite status.

Chorus: Group hug! Long live Kansas! Long live North Carolina! Duke sucks!


ACT II:
Spring, 1997

frithembleer: Oh, fairly-seeded NCAA tourney! Y'all's toast.

Arizona: Whahahahaha!

frithembleer: Oh, gods! Why hast thou forsaken Kansas?

The gods: (silence)

Chorus: The best team doesn't always win the NCAA tourney.


ACT III:
Spring 2002 - Spring 2003

Scene I:

frithembleer: Oh, fairly, correctly-seeded NCAA tourney! It's Kansas' turn, finally!

Refs: Whahahahahaha!!

frithembleer: Woe me. Woe Kansas! gods?

The gods: Experience, particularly Final Four experience.

Chorus: There is no try, only do. We needs us a scourge, frithembleer. Get you a purple lightsaber, dawg!


Scene II:

frithembleer: Curses, incorrectly, unfairly-seeded NCAA tourney! Hmmmph. Kansas shall triumph supreme, anyhow!

Duke, Arizona: Bugger all. We're toast, we're toast!

Dean Smith: Whahahahahahaha!!!

frithembleer: Tradition! Experience, particularly Final Four experience!! Kansas! Seniors!! Sweetness and Light! All that is Good and Pure and True about college basketball!!! gods?

The gods: Carmelo!

Chorus: RAGE against the dying of the light, frithembleer!! There is still hope!


ACT IV:
Fall 2004 - Winter 2004/2005

frithembleer: Oh, college basketball's regular season! I'm a Bomb Diggity Sourge now -- beware!

Chorus: All hail the ACC! All hail the Big East! All hail Illinois! All hail North Carolina! Wait, no ... all hail Illinois! Wait, no ... all hail North Carolina! Wait, no ...

frithembleer (interrupting in dismay): Et tu, Chorus?! Avaunt, detested kites, lest I scourge thee!! I will RAGE!!!

ACT V:
Spring 2005

frithembleer: To believe, or not to believe? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to believe in Sweetness and Light, and that sometimes, just sometimes, the best team CAN win the NCAA tourney and it is finally Kansas' turn to do so. Or ... to join with the doubters and unbelievers? I will RAGE against the ... the gods? Yes, I will join the doubters and unbelievers! Gimme some bricks!

(frithembleer grabs some bricks, cocks his arms, prepared to chuck the bricks at the gods' temple)

[Deus Ex Machina]

The gods: Do not despair, frithembleer! If we exist, and if we don't hate Kansas, then we'll reward you, and right soon. Trust in us, and keep the faith that we know what is best for all that is Good, Pure, and True in college basketball! Believe in Sweetness and Light! That is why you have been chosen (though MANY were worthy). You have been chosen for the Great Becoming! As you Become, you must help them to understand, and to truly Believe!!! Go forth, and tell them. Tell them of the Great Becoming!

frithembleer: And Kansas, gods? What of Kansas?

The gods: Kansas is no longer your task, frithembleer. Your task is the Great Becoming! Finish your Great Becoming; leave Kansas to us! Go forth. More details will be revealed to you soon, so remain watchful.

frithembleer: Aye! Onward and Upward -- to the Becoming!

The gods: Not so fast, frithembleer. We've changed our minds. Bucknell!

frithembleer: Woe me! I can take no more. The gods hate Kansas. I will become a fishburger; a disillusioned fishburger.

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